Pain and choosing to rise
Like barely bending and rising again,
So would I, unbroken
Rise from pain.
~Sarah Teasdale
We often experience pain that intensifies when we recall past memories, face uncertainty, or worry about the future. It forces us to appear confident and composed, even when distressed. This pain arises when we are triggered, and we attribute it to a particular moment or something said by our loved ones. Whenever I call in the courage to confront my painful emotions, I find myself transported back to my childhood, seeing situations through the eyes of my 5-year-old self and experiencing the same emotions I felt then. If I am brave enough to delve deeper, I realize that this explains a lot about how our subconscious pain responses can become ingrained from our earliest experiences and stay with us throughout our lives.
When we cannot process the pain we are feeling, it keeps us trapped. It's important to understand where the pain is coming from and how it's impacting us; you may notice similar emotions in your adult life upon reflection. I once heard a saying that really resonated with me: "The hole of trauma is not what it did to us; it is what it does to us." This means that past experiences continue to affect us in the present. For example, if you felt unsafe as a child, you may continue to feel unsafe now. Similarly, if you felt unsupported back then, you may feel like no one supports your ideas now. It can feel like emotional time has stood still, and we experience the same feelings repeatedly. This happens because our brain is wired for survival and is trying to protect us from potential harm. As a result, feelings of unsafety or misery may stay with us.
Have you ever considered what happens when we constantly push down our emotions? It's like a clogged pipe. As we continue to force difficult feelings into the pipe, not letting it out and seeing the light, it becomes increasingly clogged until it can no longer pass through. Eventually, the pipe becomes full and bursts. Similarly, when we feel our emotions building up, we try to distract ourselves. However, over time, this leads to emotional constipation, where we are unable to release our emotional waste at all. There are numerous healthy methods available to train our nervous system to regulate and process trapped emotions. We can either undertake this process ourselves or seek the assistance of professionals. We must learn to overcome our own obstacles and not let our fears of confronting our own demons hold us back. By doing so, we can experience the transformative power of healing.
When we take time to process our emotions, our energy shifts, and we transition from dwelling on the past to being present at the moment. We begin to acknowledge that the worst has already happened, and it's up to us to use our pain as a guide for growth. By recognizing and accepting what has happened, we can move on from the cycle of emotional suffering that we've been stuck in because we couldn't let go. We gain clarity and recognize when those negative feelings resurface, allowing us to release them as memories instead of reliving them as new experiences. We shed our emotional armor and embrace living in the present.
Rise up, beloved!
I hope this message finds you with an open heart to receive.
