Finding ease in the void
Coffee in the morning
As I write this, I find myself in the cozy confines of my home. It's a place so comfortable that one could easily spend hours here without realizing it. When I'm in the zone, it's as if time stands still, and all my worries fade away. It's a state of mind where my thoughts are calm and focused, and my body is enveloped in a warm blanket. The soft strains of bossa nova music provide a soothing background, while a cup of coffee adds to the overall sense of contentment. As you read this, I hope you can find your sense of flow and relaxation.
Let's discuss my struggle with uncertainty, which I often refer to as "The Void." This is the empty space where you feel unsure, and your thoughts are directed mostly by your brain's logic. If I stay in this emotional state for more than 17 seconds, I begin to feel anxious and burdened by the need to find answers urgently. Striving to find a logical solution to everything. It's like being in a dark room, searching for even the slightest glimmer of light to guide my way. From my own perspective, as I reflect on this sensation, I am discovering how to embrace the unknown and find peace in the uncertainty. I have discovered a few methods to teach myself how to take off without a clear destination in mind:
Brand new day, Brand new me. Before going to sleep, I reflect on my day and remind myself that I did my best. My inner self is proud of me, and I can now rest peacefully. In the morning, I take a moment of silence to acknowledge that this new day is neutral and can shape it however I choose. I decide how I want the day to look, and if things don't go as planned, I choose to accept them with ease rather than react with a need for control. Remember, you cannot shame yourself into making a change. Accepting our role as co-creators can be challenging, especially with our upbringing instilling a survival mindset, associating control, effort, and shame. If we show ourselves kindness, forgive ourselves, and have faith in life, everything will work out fine. Children wake up in the morning excitedly, not attaching yesterday's outcome to a brand-new day. They know that something thrilling will come up today and that today is a fresh start. If we, as adults, can adopt this mentality and view life as an exciting journey, we can enjoy every activity with eagerness and curiosity and gain new experiences. A saying in neuroscience says, "Neurons that fire together wire together." This means that with practice, our neural pathways become stronger. Begin practicing to see the world every day through the eyes of a child.
Realizing that the void is full of options to explore. Observing construction workers on their lunch break, my son admired their helmets and uniforms and said he would like to have a job like theirs. As a mother who is learning that my job is to listen and stay in my lane, I responded with enthusiasm and encouragement (I lost count of how many professions Liam has expressed interest in pursuing when he grows up). This encounter made me realize that, as adults, we may face societal pressure and fear of judgment, limiting our exploration of different paths. We often feel limited in our choices and believe that we should follow common practices for safety. As kids, we may have been told not to try something without seeing if we could do it; it mostly came from a place of protection and fear. Perhaps we were scared by always being told "You should never" without being given the chance to explore on our own. As a result, we end up limiting ourselves, believing that we are protecting ourselves by not being too adventurous. We create a larger void over time when we consistently opt for paths that prevent us from embracing our authentic selves. This is because the choices we make for the sake of safety and conformity fail to nourish our souls, leaving us feeling miserable and neglected. As a result, people often seek guidance or resort to shortcuts and distractions in an attempt to avoid confronting the emptiness inside them. This is a common experience that many people go through. It's important to remember that mistakes can teach us valuable lessons and give us new experiences. It is scary, and I get it; I am learning this myself. Sometimes, I imagine God asking me how I have used the gifts that were given to me. My answer would be what I'm doing now - breaking down walls and living my life in as many colors as possible.
Reconnect with your younger self and restore its power. During my recent meditation session, I took time to reflect on my younger self and the time before I gained the knowledge and beliefs that I have today. I connected with my innocent self, who held no limiting beliefs. If someone had told that version of me that I was capable of achieving something, my response would have been, "Yes, I want to try everything!" This analogy holds true because I am currently witnessing someone grow up, and I can see the moments where we limit our young ones due to our own limiting beliefs. If we tap into the powerful potential that we all possess from birth, we can restore it and bring it back to its full potential. One way to practice self-reflection is by visualizing yourself as a child. If you have a photo of yourself as a kid, use it as a reference. Take a moment to jot down any uplifting affirmations that come to mind. Imagine sharing these statements with your younger self, focusing on those that would have been easier to understand as a child. This exercise can be a powerful tool for healing and letting go of negative self-talk. You can also try this: Think of someone you deeply care about and imagine all the positive things you wish for them. Then, swap those wishes and apply them to yourself. You'll realize that you can indeed be generous to those you care about. By envisioning the potential good things that could happen to them, you can select what you wish for yourself. Begin by starting there and building a life that brings you joy when you wake up in the morning.
I hope this message finds you with an open heart to receive.
