Being a woman

The heart of true womanhood knows where its own sphere is, and never seeks to stray beyond it. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne.

I would never imagine feeling connected to my womanhood, embracing my feminity, and letting myself and the women around me be feminine. My connection with my feminity goes way back to when I was just a little child, always dressed up like a boy, told not to cry too much, and stop being so sensitive, told to say that I was a boy if someone asked, raised by a mother who was disconnected from her feminine side, it was the only way she knew how to connect with her daughters, she did her best and taught me what she thought was right. I grew up thinking girls were too much, that they had a lot of layers, and that was the energy I displayed towards the women in my life; it was the way I saw myself, too; everything about women was superficial, and I was not too fond of it. I grew up making many male friends, thinking boys were cool and strong; I even played football in primary school, thinking that it was the only way not to be ‘‘too much of a girl’’.

I believed that I could start to heal by presenting myself in a more feminine way, wearing makeup, growing my nails, dressing up, and making new female friends. I value these phases because they have helped me better understand being a woman. What I love about being more aware of your traumas is that it sheds light on all your darkest parts and allows you to confront and overcome your deepest fears and insecurities. Through this process, I have become more aware of how I perceive myself as a woman, my attitudes toward other women, and my relationship with feminism. I began to realize that my identity was more complex than just one aspect of myself. I came to see it as all the characteristics that distinguish me from men and other beings. It's like a book with many pages, and I've been taking the time to read and understand each one.

Here are some ways I am embracing my feminine side and celebrating the woman I am:

-I should listen to what my body is telling me: I am learning how my body possesses an extraordinary innate wisdom that knows and understands itself in a way that goes beyond words. My body is a vessel of intuition and resilience, inherently connected to the ebb and flow of life. From the delicate rhythms of the menstrual cycle to the miraculous creation of new life, a woman’s body holds a deep knowingness that guides her through the various stages of her existence. It knows when to rest when to nurture, and when to demand attention. It communicates through sensations and whispers, prompting her to listen and respond with compassion and care. This intuitive connection is a profound source of strength and empowerment, reminding every woman of her inherent wisdom and the deep wisdom of the feminine essence itself.

-I am organizing my life around my menstrual cycle: This is also known as Cycle synching; aligning my life around my menstrual cycle is a transformative and empowering experience. I started planning and scheduling important events or tasks that require my best self during my most energized and focused phase (follicular phase and days around ovulation /the first half of the cycle), harnessing the heightened productivity that often accompanies this time. Taking note of the premenstrual phase (luteal phase and especially the week before my period) allows me to enhance self-care practices and prioritize rest, ensuring I have the energy and mental clarity to navigate this natural transition. I cultivate a deeper connection with my body and optimize my overall well-being by synching activities such as exercise, social engagements, fasting, and creative pursuits with my cycle. Organizing your life around your menstrual cycle can be a beautiful and affirming way to honor your feminity and embrace life's natural ebb and flow.

If you are interested in matching your lifestyle and menstrual cycle, here is a link to get you started. Enjoy! Cycle Synching

-Embracing softness and nurture as my natural instincts is particularly a huge one for me; embodying softness and nurturing is a profound gift that intertwines strength and compassion. Understanding that softness does not equate to weakness; it embodies the power to heal and create harmony. The essence of feminity blossoms in the tender moments, the gentle touch, and the words spoken with empathy. It is a delicate balance of being a pillar of strength while embracing vulnerability, providing solace and support to loved ones. Being soft and tender does not make me any less of a woman. In fact, it is a demonstration of my strength as I embrace my natural state.

-Exploring my body through intimacy and sexuality: Self-pleasure and how our bodies naturally look is not shameful; let that sink in... While I still have a long way to go with this, I am open to sharing. Unlearning ways of how sexuality is viewed and the shameful facts around it, exploring one’s sexuality is a natural and personal journey, and it should be normalized. It allows women to connect with their bodies intimately, understand their desires, and embrace their unique pleasures. Through this exploration, I am learning to embrace and celebrate my body in all its uniqueness and beauty. Learning to openly share my fears and insecurities, where I feel safe to do so, is a process that fosters self-care, self-acceptance, self-love, and self-discovery as I navigate the intricate landscape of pleasure, vulnerability, and connection. Finding people that encourage open communication and trust. When you learn about your own body, you establish a powerful connection with yourself that cannot be replicated by anyone or anything else. While others may introduce you to new things, they cannot teach you about your own physical being.

I am holding space for all the women who have endured any form of abuse that find all this hard to grasp. I may not feel the wound that runs deep, affecting not just your physical being but also your emotional and spiritual self, but I am reaffirming your intrinsic value and your inherent right to thrive, not just to survive. As you embark on the path of healing, celebrate every moment of self-discovery. Engage in activities that bring you joy and peace, reconnecting with passions you may have pushed aside during challenging times. Rediscover your own voice, allowing it to be heard without fear or reservation. I am writing this with so much love from my heart to yours.

I hope this message finds you with an open heart to receive it.